Contentedness

I've been pondering a quote by Sally Clarkson (from Seasons of a Mother's Heart). It refers specifically to homeschooling, but I think that you could fill in any number of things (like "marriage" or "your job" or "parenting") and get the same conclusion.

Here's the quote: "The only way to make it in this homeschooling life is to reach for God instead of for happiness... Contentedness will not come from being more organized, sleeping longer, being a better wife, keeping a nicer home, using higher-quality materials, taking more time for yourself, or whatever it is you think might help. Contentedness is learned by accepting life each day as God gives it to you, and adjusting your expectations to life's limitations."

At first this quote didn't set well with me. I am an optimist and a perfectionist. I want to get things perfectly planned. I want to celebrate every occasion, complete every task, have things neat and orderly, bring to fruition every crazy idea (of which I have many). With these drives always churning in me, contentedness does not come easily.

This quote doesn't sit well with me because it challenges me. I don't want to adjust my expectations to life's limitations. I want things to work out as I plan and envision them, the way they "should be." I am learning that there is great opportunity for growth in holiness and grace and virtue every time I face life's expectations. Adjusting my expectations doesn't necessarily mean changing them. It means recognizing God's presence and plans and conforming my own plans and will to his.

I'm sure I have missed many glimpses of beauty, moments of amazement, and opportunities to learn and love by not accepting each day as God gives me.... but rather focusing fully on my own agendas. Again, this is something I am learning from my children... being present in the moment, exploring the world around me, sometimes letting go of the task or schedule at hand to experience something different that God has in store.

I do love the first sentence of the quote. I wholeheartedly believe that we must reach for God rather than happiness. We are surrounded by so many temptations and pressures to pursue "happiness." Most of them are really veiled temptations to selfishness. The key is... when you reach for God you do get happiness.... real, true, lasting happiness.... in this life as well as in the next. And reaching for God does not always/only have to do with spending lots of time doing "religious activities." It's reaching for what's true and good and pure and loving and joyful....

And so I keep extending my hand in faith to God who meets me at every crossroads, helps me take each next step. I do have doubts. I do have grand ideas and plans and agendas. But I am growing in contentedness as I place my trust in Him. Interestingly, as Jon and I have taken this "leap" into homeschooling our boys, I do feel a contentedness that I haven't felt in so long (if ever). I get nervous and worried and busy with plans, but I feel a deep contentedness knowing that we are doing what we feel is best for our boys to help them grow in wisdom, knowledge, virtue, and faith. I know that it will be difficult and sacrifices will be involved. I know that Jon and I will learn as much as we teach the boys (or more). I know that God is with us every step of the way. I feel a deep peace and contentedness for which I give thanks to God every day.

P.S. In addition to reaching for God, I also often reach for chocolate! ;) The Dove chocolate wrapper that I opened tonight had this quote inside: "It's OK to not do it all." OK God (and mom)... I hear you! Don't let anyone ever tell you God can't speak through chocolate!