Beware of "Doctor Cyberspace"

****Warning: This is a post that will definitely NOT make you say, "Wow... she has it all together!" ;) This is real life at it's rawest!

Well, I spent half of last night dealing with a sick child and the other half freaking out that he was going to die! I am actually being dramatic and exaggerating just a bit.... but it WAS a long night.

Adam has had a bit of a stomach bug. I'll spare you the details, but basically I heard a cry for help around midnight and found him in quite a mess in the bathroom. After I got him cleaned up and back to sleep and the bathroom cleaned up, I began to wonder (obsess) about the color of the mess which came from his bowels. (Wow! No one ever prepared me for this charming aspect of motherhood!)

Here's where I made my big mistake. Instead of calling my mom and waking her up so she could calm my fears, I got online.

That was a big mistake. BIG. MISTAKE. (Sorry mom.... next time you're getting a call.)

I should know this lesson by now. I used to try to diagnose myself online and I became quite a hypochondriac for a while. My doctor finally told me to stop looking online and just call his office. (Wow.... I'm sounding really whacko now!)

Anyway, last night - instead of sleeping - I read lots and lots of descriptions of crazy-colored bowel movements. I read long lists of SCARY possible causes of such messes. I kept trying to re-envision the colors and texture of the "mess" I had just cleaned up. The online information was scary (and disgusting)! I was 94.62% certain that Adam's liver was not functioning and that I should rush him to the hospital immediately where he would be admitted and need a transplant and be hooked up to machines for the short remainder of his life. Aggghhhhh!!!!

Who needs "boogie men" when you can freak yourself out so completely in the middle of the night?!?!

After checking Adam several times to make sure he was still breathing, I eventually woke Jon up. (He sleeps so soundly the first part of the night!) Jon was not nearly as concerned as I was and not at all interested in the descriptive details of the "mess." He did, however, give me exactly what I needed. He wrapped his arms around me and said the most beautiful prayer.... and started snoring.

Oh yeah.... prayer.

So, being reminded of God's constant presence and protection, I was comforted. I placed all my fears in Jesus' Sacred Heart. I called upon the intercession of his amazing Mother. I relished the loving embrace of my husband. I relaxed and fell asleep.

Twenty minutes later we had round two of "Adam mess" .... and I was thrilled to be able to re-examine the color and texture. It was greatly improved from what I had remembered. I was so happy and relieved and began to have hope that he would actually live. Is it too much of a stretch to consider that second round of "mess" a gift from God?

Well, round three came a few hours later. This morning he actually seemed better and my fears were further relieved by a call to the pediatrician's office. He got better and better throughout the day.... so, hopefully, tonight will be more restful and no transplants will be needed this week. (As it turns out, you only have to freak out if you have weird-colored "mess" AND vomitting. Dr. Cyberspace neglected to inform me of that critical piece of information.)

The point of this long narrative: Don't freak yourself out by looking online to figure out what's wrong with you or your loved ones. Look to God, of course, for strength and peace. No matter what ills or challenges we face, he is there with us and for us.